well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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