If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
