I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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