do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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