sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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