Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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