slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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