They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
