I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
