I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize