My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize