Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
