you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
