i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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