Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
