I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
