Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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