Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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