garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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