How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
