what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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