dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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