And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
