Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize