guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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