I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
