I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
