Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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