Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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