We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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