I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
