Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
