is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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