Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
