I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
