someone threw a dead crab at me
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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