Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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