Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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