I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
