I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize