do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I supernannyed him into submission
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
