bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I had to cum in my sink.
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