I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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