thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
