i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
