Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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