I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
