You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
