At least make sure they are 18
Why
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
