i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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