Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
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