What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
