There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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