he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize