I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
