p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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