So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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