You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
