Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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