And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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