Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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