I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
