don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
